A Key To No Door

49. Blog Update

2009-12-14T01:29:00.002-05:00

Ok, I have been really busy with work and school. But I promise to do a blog or two this month. The first will be a follow up of last years Top 10 Albums I Bought in 2008, but with the 2009 tag instead.

In the mean time...

Peace!

48. Hoity Toity Rants and Self Selfishness

2009-09-21T10:54:00.002-04:00

When it comes to emotions, how many of us put how we feel in front of others? To tell others how we feel but to think what others feel, even if its the same, is complete pish-posh and that they need to get over it. Maybe it's just the mood i'm in or that I read someone else's blog about being alone and all I could think of is the phrase "I have no sympathy."

I know I have said on here about feeling alone and what not, which is why I am talking about being selfish. But at the same time you start to draw comparisons. I know the person I am talking about and I know their pretty extroverted and they have plenty of people to hang out with and even claims they always have someone interested in them. I on the other hand have been without someone for the past 2 years, about as introverted as they come, and have had about three or four people like me during this time. So the selfish part of me thinks "you have no idea what it's like to be me..."

But in reality, as the character Atticus Finch said: "You can not judge a person until you see things from his (or her to be correct) point of view"

Which is completely true, yeah we know each other, but are we really friends? No, just mere acquaintances. I don't hang out with her at all and I only seldom talk to her on the internet. But when it seems like they are always having a good time partying and living "the college life" sure being alone will affect that person, but on my side, being alone has affected me too, but when you haven't really done anything in about two years despite trying to (and failing, even when coming close) you tend to feel less and less for someone claiming to have no one.

In a resilient conclusion, on my end, I need better myself when it comes to compassion, but it's sometimes hard to do so in these shoes...if you know what I mean.

47. Four Hour Breaks

2009-09-18T09:46:00.002-04:00

Just another one of those days where I need to kill time at college because I decided to give my self way too much time in between classes; three hours between class on Mondays and Wednesdays and four hours on Fridays. In a sense it can be agood thing because then I can work on homework and whatnot during that time, plus study my ass off before psychology...

Have I been doing that? only slightly...

The problem is, most of my classes so far haven't really offered any homework and if they do it's incredibly easy. I just usually sit in the student lounge with my laptop listening to music and checking the internet out. This time i'm actually deciding to write a blog since I haven't done so in awhile.

I do utilize my time to study though. I will take myself to the library and stick myself in the back quiet study areas to do my last minute cramming which has so far worked. This week so far has been really stressful and tough only because I had two tests and a project all due on two straight days. Plus there was other stuff in the class I project due in that went on that I don't want to delve into...
But now the school week is coming to a close and I can just sit back and feel relaxed knowing that I don't need to do anything but breathe easily and enjoy my music for the next 3 hours.

I think it's time to get back to reading my book when I get home today... might be therapeutic.

46. The Journeyman Chronicles, Part II- Hypercritical

2009-08-08T21:18:00.003-04:00

Some of you know me with two sides (or three depending on how well you know me), which is while being a sensitive and caring person, I can be outright critical on just about every subject... mainly pop culture.

With that said, I went with some friends to the mall because they needed some stuff and we walked into this one corner store (I think it's called Journeys) and I felt so out of place. Not that I feel really awkward and uncomfortable and need to get the hell out of here out of place, but the "this stuff is so lame and the only people that wear this stuff listen to lame music, try to act not true to themselves, and overall will regret many things in their life" type of response. It's the fact that I detest current trends so much, no matter what it is.

Let's put it this way, unless I heard it first, you'll never hear me saying "I like this song" while listening to G105 or have my hat on my head in any other position than forwards. You can cut the pretentiousness with a knife nowadays...

I'm critical about everything... music, movies, culture, religion, TV, etc.

Now is it bad that I have such ill will towards certain things? I can understand having some gripes with stuff, but always having some negative feelings towards a lot of stuff? Sure I'm generally happy, but I do think a lot things that people listen to or wear look like ass! And I thought the preppy look was stupid!

Can you see yourself as hypercritical?

45. Not Sure...

2009-08-06T00:57:00.002-04:00

I'll be honest, I haven't been exactly happy for a long time. I'm not talking about the fact that we all have peaks and valleys in life, it's as if I have a hill, then valley, then another hill followed by another valley so it keeps going deeper. I'm not sure if i'm depressed or anything, it's probably the constant alone factor I keep facing. It's getting near the end of the summer and I keep thinking that I should have went out with that girl the previous summer because I haven't felt wanted since then.

Don't tell me the thing about not needing someone in order to be happy... I know, i've been without someone for two years... and i've come to the conclusion that it would be a real good thing for my psyche to have someone to have in my arms and be all cute and what not with. I'm not saying i'm desperate and will take anyone, but to have someone would really boost my morale...seriously.

I guess only time will tell. You guys have read it before anyways...

44. The Journeyman Chronicles, Part I- Enlightenment

2009-07-30T00:33:00.003-04:00

I'm not using the exact term for enlightenment, but it's the only word I could think of after my discussion with my ex, Heather, and I in my car driving back to my house.

While we were driving back we were having this conversation about how cool it would be to go to Niagara Falls to visit my relatives and I brought up this thought I have been thinking about recently: Maybe there are people looking out for you! Now don't get me wrong, i'm still agnostic until an act of God physically happens in front of my very own eyes, but think about the stuff that has happened since my grandfather passed away. My mother went out the morning of us leaving to come back to North Carolina to look for her sign that my grandfather was safe in the afterlife which was to be a deer. Well, she did in fact see a deer according to my dad. A month or so later my mom goes down to Charlotte for this sweepstakes thing in which the grand prize is 2009 Ford Mustang GT Coupe. She won the card and had a picture of him with her the while she was there.

Here's another instance but it involves my uncle and aunt (my uncle being his son). While he was alive they tried to have a child but for years they were unsuccessful so they decided they wanted to adopt a child. Well a couple months ago, we got news that my aunt is now in fact pregnant and is suppose to give birth in November! They still want to adopt a child as well! My mom said she should have guessed when dad and her went up to Canada to celebrate theirs and my grandparents (if my grandfather was still alive, it would have been their 50th) anniversaries and my aunt was drinking alcohol.

So after I made those points, I said that while I believe that there possibly isn't a God, I do think that people do look over and after you when they pass to which Heather agreed with me.

But here's the paradox: Am I being looked after at all? I mean just look what happened the first day I got back to work from being in Canada for the funeral! Within a week of my grandfather dying, I was told that I would be let go from my job! That's not exactly looking after me but maybe it's some sort of trickle down effect. First his immediate family then his grandchildren and so on. So maybe my time of being look after by him hasn't come yet, but it will.

Maybe this is a turning of the leaf? Maybe, maybe not, but it's not up to me to decide that.

43. A Few Things...

2009-06-18T22:56:00.003-04:00

I have been not really busy until a couple days ago, mainly hanging out with friends until this morning, but here is basically two stories that I will talk about:

Starting with the most recent...

Well this morning I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I wish I could say how much it hurt, but they used a general anesthetic in my IV that knocked me out within a minute so I was out for the whole extraction thankfully. My face was really numb and for about 3 hours after the operation I had gauze on both sides of my mouth. About twice my one side started to bleed again and I had to put more gauze in my mouth for that side. When the numbness went away, that same side started to hurt, so I got two pills of Ibuprofen (which is recommended) and haven't been in pain for the rest of the night.

The main reason I needed my wisdom teeth removed was because my tooth on the lower right was pointed towards my cheek and would hurt for a week at a time about four times a year, plus the tooth on the opposite side of it hadn't fully broken through. They decided to take all four out in order to prevent the other two "healthy" teeth in order to prevent bacteria growth and what not because of where they are in relation to brush one's teeth.

But anyways, so far so good, tomorrow will probably hurt real bad and I might have to take that hydrocodon stuff. I know I have to have that bacterial rinse stuff or whatever it is and that won't taste good at all...

Now for part two...

Okay, why is it that some women think that when you ask them to go to dinner they think you're asking them out?

This happened two days ago between a friend and I who I haven't seen in about nine years. That right there shows that I just want to hang out and reminisce about stuff, that's it. I have no notions nor feelings towards her in that way at all! I don't get why people in general automatically assume stuff like that. Sorry if I don't find it weird that hanging out with the other sex can happen without a date being a possibility. Who knows the next time I will talk to her again because it's a little embarrassing for someone to automatically assume I want to go out with them when I haven't even hung out with them in almost ten years! I'm not going to ask you out based on Facebook conversations because you can't hear the person and you aren't right near them in order to develop and feelings like that. Oh well, when I can eat more than just soft food, I just go get dinner with friends of the same sex and those of the opposite sex who know I'm not trying to date them and take girls I want to go out with to midnight bowling.

42. Domestic Terrorism

2009-06-01T23:58:00.005-04:00

Yes, the title does say "domestic terrorism" because someone was assassinated in the last 24 hours for what they believed was an okay thing to do. Dr. George Tiller was an abortion doctor and one of the few that did late term abortions; he was murdered during a church service he was a attending by a very adamant and extremist pro-life supporter.

Now let's get this straight... Pro-life... means for life or for the right to life, yet this, and many other doctors who do abortions have been assassinated by other extremist pro-lifers. Does anyone not get the picture?!?!?! I thought if you are Pro-life you mean all life! I know I am writing this late at night, but come on, I can even see how much of a farce some of these pro-life stances are! I'm not knocking those who are Pro-life but understand that they can not convince people to not have abortions because they are not that person making that choice. It's just sickening to see some people contradict their very message of Life by killing doctors, blowing up abortion clinics, and constantly protesting about how someone will go to Hell because they decided to rid of an unwanted fetus. It's so sad that this is one of the biggest rights of choice that a woman can have, yet so many people want to take that right away from them.

Don't get me wrong... yes I am pro-choice, but I have my own limits onto what I consider "legal" circumstances for abortion. Ultimately though, I am a male and therefore can not make that judgment. I could only do that if males were the ones getting pregnant, but we don't so we should never have a say in that process.

Going back to the murder of this doctor, the head honcho at Operation Rescue, you know, the organization that has the Roe of Roe v Wade as one of it's members, acting as if this murder was a victory for their side. They show their contradictory stance by saying that his murder was necessary since he aborted so many potential children. I thought these people were Pro-life? If you're pro-life that means all life, not the life of something that is not born yet. If someone wants to abort, let them because it's not your life. That person may feel they made the right decision or could regret the whole thing later on, but it's THEIR choice to make that decision, not yours!

This is AMERICA, not IRAN nor NORTH KOREA. We have FREEDOM OF CHOICE here! It's alright to be Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, just don't go to an extreme about it. A personal opinion is fine (like this blog), but there's no need to protest because you aren't entitled to that person's life and how they run it. For those that think that murdering a doctor is the right thing to do WHILE AT THE SAME TIME condoning those doctors for "murdering" unborn babies is horrendous; what happened to "Practice what you preach?"

I'd say let people ruin their own life if you think what they are doing is such a bad idea. People will guilt-trip themselves, no need to get into their face to tell them they are wrong. You wouldn't want someone that has a pro-choice stance come up to you and say "your parents should have aborted you" would you? I would think not because it isn't right, the same goes with all those stupid anti-abortion protests at abortion clinics. Let women make their choices without fear, there's no need for this extreme Christian stance that almost borderlines how the Taliban treats women. As John Lennon said, Give Peace A Chance.

41. I'm 21 Years Old? Really?

2009-05-12T23:38:00.002-04:00

I was texting Andrew today after I found out another person whom I have known for a couple years has a child now. I told him that every time one of our friends or acquaintences has a child or gets engaged and.or married, I feel older everytime. He says he feels smarter which is true, but it also made me think about how the older we get, the wiser we get...supposedly. I know we are in the Erik Erikson stage of our life where we deal with the problem of intimacy v isolation and that thought of how the rest of my life will be sometimes becomes a constant thought. Sure I had one girlfriend, but will I have another soon? Will I get married? If I am married, will we divorce? and ultimately, will I be alone in a house having a dog as my only friend? I know I am only at the very beginning of this 20-year stage and by the time I am forty I will have any of this questions answered by then.

People seem to have a Calvinistic view of thier lives, believing that everything is already planned out for us; the loss of lives, the romance, the jobs, and the end of our life, but I don't want to sit back thinking it's out of my hands because it isn't. I'm the captain of my own ship and I will steer it in what ever direction I want. I think about how my life would have been if I stayed in Arizona as I probably would have taken some honors courses and gone to a proper university instead of Wake Tech Community College. I mean I have been back in North Carolina for four years and I STILL haven't really thought of what's it's like being back here. Of course I love being in North Carolina because this is where I was raised, but I was just starting to accept living in Arizona, so I still feel that I am in some sort of crossroads on many points including identification. Only time will tell as they say, or as Elektra King said in Goldeneye, "What's the point in living when you can't feel alive?"

40. You'll Never Walk Alone

2009-04-13T23:23:00.002-04:00

As April 15th looms around the corner, Wednesday to be exact, many of us here in America will be scrambling to the local post office to turn in our tax forms, but in England, there is something entirely different that will be observed. It is not taxes nor some sort of holiday, but a rather gruesome anniversary of an event that should have never happened.

On April 15th, 1989, Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield, England, the home ground of Sheffield Wednesday FC, was being used as a FA Cup semi-final venue between Liverpool FC and Nottingham Forest FC. Forest supporters were given the larger Spion Kop end while the Liverpool supporters had the smaller Leppings Lane stand on the opposite side of the stadium. Back then, stadiums often had fences surrounding the field in order to keep hooligans from invading the pitch which became the fatal obstacle that day. I can not imagine in this day and age why someone thought it was a good idea to turn beautiful stadiums to sporty versions of prisons...

Because of numerous police errors, too many people were in the Leppings Lane "pens" and a crush of spectators happened. The only ways for the spectators to escape the crush was to climb the fence or literally climb on people's shoulders and then be grabbed and picked up by another person situated in the second tier of the less crowded terrace. The game had already kicked off while all this was going on, but it was stopped after six minutes and abandoned.

Many stadiums here in America are all-seaters and always been like that so many of us do not understand the concept of a stadium with no seats, but it creates a fantastic atmosphere if the crowd is properly contained. In this case here, it clearly wasn't as there was such a massive overflow.

That day on April 15th, 1989, 94 supporters died, with another died a couple days later and another a couple years later (he never came out of his coma). All in all, 96, yes, 96 people died from an event at a soccer match! It's hard to imagine knowing someone who was just going to a simple sporting event and never return. This Wednesday is the 20th anniversary of that tragic a fateful day and I hope anybody that reads this shows their highest respects for those who went to enjoy a nice game of soccer and ended up losing their life.

To all those who lost their life, you have my respect and Rest In Peace. It's been twenty years and that day is still fresh in many people's minds and you will never be forgotten.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

39. Nothing New To Report

2009-03-31T23:51:00.002-04:00

Well, there is, but it's just political diatribe that I don't feel like getting into at the moment.

So on to another music video!

In all honestly, I really like this song, reminds me of the women singers and groups that were somehow emerging and dominating during the mid-nineties. I actually do like this song, it's "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole (no relation).

Oh you get me ready in your 56 chevy
Why don't we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorching,
Like a glass of cold lemonade
I will do the laundry if you pay all the bills

CHORUS:
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie son
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone

Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the TV
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children if you pay all the bills

Chorus

I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you don't, but you don't even notice me
Say our goodbyes
Say our goodbyes
Say our goodbyes

We finally sold the chevy
When we had another baby
And you took the job in tennessee
You made friends at the farm
And you joined them at the bar
Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes while you go have a beer

Chorus

Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone

Enjoy!

38. The Great Stem Cell Debate Is Back On!

2009-03-15T13:25:00.002-04:00

President Obama recently overturned a Bush ban on the research of embryonic stem cells and personally I am for the research because it will help out in finder cures for cancer and what not. But really, I wanted to post this song about the subject which gives both sides of the argument pretty well! It's called "The Great Debate" by Dream Theater. It's a great song, but most YouTube videos of the song are in two parts because it excedes their 10 minute length.

I'll have the videos put up here along with the videos and then you can post on the song or the topic at hand if you want to.

What if someone said
Promise lies ahead
Hopes are high in certain scientific circles
Life won't have to end
You could walk again

What if someone said
Problems lie ahead
They've uncovered something highly controversial
The right to life is strong
Can't you see it's wrong

Human kind has reached a turning point
Poised for conflict at ground zero
Ready for a war
Do we look to our unearthly guide
Or the white coat heroes
Searching for a cure

Turn to the light
Don't be frightened of the shadows it creates
Turn to the light
Turning away would be a terrible mistake

Anarchistic moral vision
Industries of death
Facing violent opposition
Unmolested breath

Ethic inquisitions breed
Antagonistic views
Right wing soundbyte premonitions
In a labyrinth of rules

Are you justified
Are you justified
Are you justified
Justified in taking
Life to save life
Life to save life
Life to save life

This embryonic clay
Wrapped in fierce debate
Would be thrown away
Or otherwise discarded

Some of us believe
It may hold the key
To treatment of disease
And secrets highly guarded

Are you justified
Are you justified
Are you justified
Justified in taking
Life to save life
Life to save life
Life to save life

Humankind has reached a turning point
Poised for conflict at ground zero
Ready for a war
Do we look to our unearthly guide
Or to white coat heroes
Searching for a cure

Turn to the light
Don't be frightened of the shadows it creates
Turn to the light
Turning away would be a terrible mistake

We're reaching
But have we gone too far

Harvesting existence
Only to destroy
Carelessly together
We are sliding

Someone else's future
Four days frozen still
Someone else's fate
We are deciding

Miracle potential
Sanctity of life
Faced against each other
We're divided

Should we push the boundaries
Or should we condemn
Moral guilt and science
Have collided

Turn to the light
We defy our own mortality these days
Turn to the light
Pay attention to the questions we have raised

37. The Bailout

2009-02-11T22:13:00.002-05:00

I love how the government is doing as much as they can to help the economy with bailouts and stimulus's, but it's being ruined by those who take it for granted and people who want to stick to what has been ruining the economy in the first place.

It is absolutely pathetic that major banks are using the money that is suppose to be used on us, their customers, the people who really need the money, and these idiots, the CEO's (Corrupt Egotistical Offenders) take millions and possibly a billion dollars to give to themselves, vacations, and jets (well no jets since Obama told them to "fix it"). I applaud the decision from Obama to set a cap on their salaries, even though he should put a cap on sports superstars too. Those high ranking officials at these banks really need to get their head out of their asses and use common sense!

Secondly, tax cuts haven't worked for awhile, that's why something else is needed to be tried! I don't really see money from a tax cut because that money goes back to the IRS as what?... TAXES. The stimulus, i'll admit has money going to some stupid things, but while people focus solely on that, they forget to realize that everything involves jobs, and people need jobs. Right now there are almost 4 million people without jobs (including me) and those jobs give people money which they will use to pay bills and buy products, therefore stimulating the economy. Sorry Republicans, you may have gotten some tax cuts, but we all know that they don't work.

Thank you, rant over.

36. My Personal Beliefs

2009-01-20T20:53:00.002-05:00

I just had to do this for my World Religions class, so I will apologize in advance for the length of the post. I numbered the paragraphs for easier reading and understanding.

Here are the questions I had to answer. Each paragrapgh is one number:

1. What is reality? How can you prove that something is real? What is truth? How is a religious truth different from a scientific truth.
2. Do you believe there are "beings" or a "higher being" "greater" than humans? Briefly explain.
3. Where do you think the world comes from? Where do you believe humans come from?
4. Are humans inherently good or bad and why?
5. What do you think is eventually going to happen to the world?
6. What do you think happens to people after they die?
7. How should people behave and why? What should guide people's sense of how they "ought" to behave?
8. Describe your attitude towards those who believe differently than you do. If you consider yourself to belong to a particular religion, describe how that religion responds to individuals of other faiths. Do you have any friends or acquaintances of a different faith?

1. To me, reality is what we see in the world all the time, what happens to us and others, and the overall experience one has during their life that can either hinder or prosper one’s self. I am one for science because there is a realm within the sciences where everything is falsifiable because everybody knows that what has been physically presented to us can be proved or disproved through experiments and equations. We jump and land quickly back on Earth because of gravity and that if you crash your car, unless wearing a seatbelt, you will be flying out the windshield at the same speed the car was going prior to crashing. Those are pure truths because there is not “it happens because it just does” or “(insert higher power here) is the reason” as an explanation. A truth is a statement that can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt and a scientific truth is what we call scientific laws such as the laws of gravity and inertia. A religious truth is very different from a scientific truth because it all depends on how much you cling to what has been said in the Bible and what you think is real or not and many are not falsifiable and therefore can not be said as truth.

2. I believe there this is a very high possibility of other beings that live somewhere else other than Earth. I’m not saying that I think that Area 51 has UFO ships within its complex, I’m saying that because we haven’t been able to explore all of space to determine whether or not there are other signs of life (intelligent or otherwise) to answer that question. As for a “higher being,” I put that belief into doubt, but not saying if I actually believe that there is a higher power or not. In a reality setting, if a person came up face to face with an animal being like a bear, which one is the higher being in the truest sense? The bear would be seen as higher because it does not need a weapon to take out what is threatening their area. Will people agree with that? Of course not, I have had that discussion before about whether or not humans were indeed animals, which we are or else the bear would not eat us. As for being greater than a human, well sure if there is a God and every coincidence is God’s work, but we would not know if there is a being greater than a human until we have had that intervention.

3. We still do not know how Earth, let the entire universe happened exactly, but I am open to all explanation that can hold their ground in theory. We have these debates about whether or not to teach Creationism in public schools, but because religion is not aloud to be taught at a public school during school hours, it can only be an after hours class or at least a non-credit class during the school day much like how seminary works for Mormon students in Arizona (I use to live in Arizona so I know all about that particular subject). As long as there are religious schools, there should be no need to teach Creationism in public schools. The downturn about religious schools is that they are all private schools which require money out of one’s pocket for their child to be admitted instead of setting up a religious public magnet school. Speaking of Creationism, I do not believe that God created all the animals and that the Earth has only been around for a relatively short time instead of a couple billion years. Us humans developed from other animals, more specifically from our primate brethren. As mentioned before, the theory of evolution is falsifiable but so far has not be disproved. Humans ourselves vary from region to region like all the other animals and we are destined to evolve sometime in the future.

4. It is hard to explain if we inherently good or bad because every human has a different story to tell and we can go from a good parent to a terrible child and vice versa. Did we inherit good or bad from the species before us? Probably so because the DNA that is in every single living and formerly living creature determines or behaviors and notions towards the reality in front of us. Of course its not just heredity that makes us the way we our, we also learn from others either from being told or just by observation which determines what we see as good or bad.

5. Many things can happen to the world. For one thing, the threat of nuclear war is always present and with the amount of nuclear weapons we have, we could destroy existence on this world as we know it. Albert Einstein said, "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." I believe that could happen if we do not end up destroying humanity as previously stated. Another possibility is Global Warming. We might not think that Global Warming is going to change the world, but we have done so much to the atmosphere that in due time (whether we are still living when it happens) we will end up being like Venus or another version of the humble oxygen-lacking beginners of Earth. It has been predicted that the Earth will be destroyed in about 5 billion years because of how close we are to the Sun. The Sun has a set life span which will eventually run out and end up exploding, swallowing and destroying the nearest planets. If we end up not having a nuclear epidemic or Global Warming, that is what will happen. We have seen so many times people thinking that a religious Armageddon was going to happen and so far we are still alive.

6. I have considered myself Agnostic for quite sometime (even though it can be seen as Atheist from what has been said) and do not really know what to say about what happens when we die. I do not want to tell myself that when we die, that’s it, nothing else because I want to think that our soul continues on into some sort of after life, maybe even reincarnation. This is where I can not draw a line for an opinion. The thought of an afterlife is extremely appealing to me, but the thought of just waiting while living in order to reap the benefits of Heaven is not. I know that as long as we accept Jesus and God as our leader and repent our sins we will be let into heaven and that’s how it should be. I’m not saying we should all be hedonistic pigs and when asked to repent to do so just like that, I’m saying we should enjoy our life and when its over and there is a Heaven, I can let whomever it is know that I will repent and accept whomever is in charge as my leader because I wanted to question and figure out things without being told someone else’s interpretations.

7. We can not be the one’s that determine how others are to behave, but if that was the case then everybody should have their own set of guidelines and boundaries when it comes to what or what not to do. I myself am not religious, but I have my own boundaries that I set where I do not do certain things because I know it’s not right because of reasons and not because I have been told no without any reason why it is wrong. People are taught how they are “ought” to behave either from parents, teachers, peers, or religious verses. We can not change or determine how a person will act because there will always be criminals and others that are seen as “immoral.”

8. My attitude towards others that believe differently than me is a pretty warm attitude. I have plenty of friends who are highly religious and I respect their views. I treat them the same way they do to me and we respect each other’s views because we understand each other’s background. Unfortunately, my view on religion is in a slighted way because of the people that do press their beliefs onto other people or use it to explain all their answers (what I mean is people that use Bible verses for answers instead of actually answering the question). I have a few friends of the Islamic faith and the same can be said for them as with my friends who are highly religious with their Christian faith. I do not consider myself as part of a faith. I was baptized in the United Church of Canada, but other than that, I can count the amount of times I have been to a church for a service with one hand. To sum up a song by Rush called “Faithless,” the chorus talks about one not having faith in faith nor belief in beliefs, but they believe in love and that is faith enough for them. I believe that is true and that one can have faith without having religion because we can all believe in ourselves without a “higher power.” But it can be nice to know you have someone or something there that will protect you and give you a leg up when down.

Again, I apologize for the length. And if you comment, please do not use scripture because the assignment specifically said no scripture or stuff of that ilk so lets treat it like that.

35. Update

2009-01-14T00:53:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't been posting a lot, but it's just that I have been busy with school and reorganizing stuff. The new blog will come eventually, maybe this weekend, maybe not, so just stick in there, its going to happen!

Also, I got my drivers license finally and I couldn't believe how easy the test was! All that worrying and nervousness for nothing!

Oh well, back to listening to that awesome stoner rock band Kyuss.

34. New Beginnings? I Sure Hope So!

2009-01-06T23:56:00.003-05:00

2009, A new year, a new era, and time to keep those resolutions! Well, atleast try to anyways.

I believe this time I can get back on my feet and try to be a better person overall. I know that I won't be able to go out with a certain someone as I had wished, but there are others out there that I am friends with that I would to see if I can go further with them. Also, time to be committed to what ever is in front of me, which means I might pull a Rocky and give myself some vigorous work outs (except not trying to be buff like Rocky).

Also, I would like to announce that I am planning on creating a second blog! What will the new one be about? Well, music is always beside me in my life and that is where the focus will be for this blog. Every week will be a different artist and within that week there will be posts showing lyrics from whomever the artist is for that week along with music videos, live performances, and interviews, maybe even the band playing a cover tune! Stick with me folks, I will be creating this blog soon, hopefully by next week.

That's it for now, I am not going to dread anymore as most of that crap was in 2008 and it just needs to be left behind.

33. Bringing In The New Year

2008-12-31T09:31:00.002-05:00

Whatever happened in 2008 will be gone and a distant memory as the year 2009 looms aroudn the corner. We all have those resolutions that don't stay true, but I have some of my own that I won't digress on here. Not sure what everybody else is doing tonight, but I am going to the Carolina Hurricanes game tonight, but I am still undecided on whether or not to go back to my friend's apartment for their party. I guess that decision will be made around game time. If not, I hope my parents didn't set off the spark fountains we have left over from Independence Day.

That, it. Just a short little blog.

32. The Thrill Is Gone

2008-12-28T23:02:00.003-05:00

Well, I guess it was not meant to be. I believe I am at the point where I can talk to her, and I have tried at least twice. But the question is, should I try harder or let things go? I don't know what I feel about her any more, whether I like her or not like her because of what was said, it's almost a numb feeling. It's just that I don't want to have her talk to me about it when she is back in the cozy comforts of Appalachian State because then it will be too late and I am not willing to wait for her to come back only for her to back off once again.

But does this mean the friendship is over as well? It's been exactly two weeks since we last talked to each other. I just wish she should come out and tell me what this "horrible timing" thing is about because I would have completely understood if she told me that she was starting to like this other guy and that's why she was acting like she did. That would have been clear cut and I would have been fine with that and we could have gone on with our merry lives instead of just being told that she needs to stop talking to me because it makes her like me again and say "it just is." I just want to know the whole story and I have soothed to the point where I don't get mad and pissed off at the thoughts (its that numb feeling).

I guess in the time being, there are other fish in this massive ocean called singledom.

31. Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T19:10:00.002-05:00

I would like to wish everybody a happy holiday tomorrow!

Bob and Doug Mackenzie- 12 Days of Christmas

Porky Pig- Blue Christmas

30. I Had To Go See About A Girl

2008-12-22T11:20:00.002-05:00

Let's get away from the religious stuff shall we? On to other matters...

I thought I was going to starting a new relationship this break, or at least just have fun hanging out with each other, but neither is happening and what was said made me incredibly angry and pissed off. The girl, I won't say her name, just going to keep it anonymous, and I met each other last summer. We talked to each other a lot and hung out almost once a week during that time. She told me that she liked me more than a friend, but I was still somewhat had feelings for my ex-girlfriend. Anyways, the stuff that went on during the summer has been already mentioned in another blog post. Well, I feel like I have moved on to the point that I can start a new relationship and was hoping to do so last fall break, but instead of hanging out on that Friday before break ended as planned, she ended up hanging out with her friends and I went to eat dinner at the Tangerine Cafe by myself which was a downer. Again, mentioned this in another post as well, different one though.

The Sunday before last, we were talking and she abruptly signed off of AIM, but came back, so no worries there. Later on after talking about various things that went on at her university before and she signed off again, but this time she didn't come back on. So I texted her to see if I said anything wrong and apologized if I did say anything to prompt her to leave. Well, not exactly what I said, it was that she needed to sign off and stop talking to me because the more she talked to me, the more she liked me and due some type of horrible timing, she has to stop in order to not let it happen, plus she thought it would be better if we didn't hang out. When she said "It Just Is," after I reply, all I could reply back was by saying "Fine." I haven't talked to her since, and I think that is a good thing because I can not think of what to say to her if she happened to start talking to me now because of how mad I am at her for this. Now I am sitting here wondering why she won't even just hang out. I am ready to get on with my life. I guess because she said "horrible timing," that there is someone else in mind and most likely at her university. That's fine as long as she doesn't talk to me about it because I feel like I have been snubbed after all this. I am willing to commit to a relationship with her despite the distance. I don't want to go through this whole break and have us be back at classes for her to tell me after all of this that she made a mistake and that we should have hung out and see what would have happened during winter break because I don't want to hear it. I have been stood up three times and can't take a fourth.

I know she sometimes reads these, which is fine because if she does, she knows how I fully feel and that I do see her online but I don't talk to her because of this. I don't want to be a jerk to her and this is as far as I want to go because I don't think I would hold back from how I feel if I was to talk to her directly. If she wants to hang out before break was over and see where it would go, as originally planned about a month before this whole ordeal, then I will be glad to accept.

29. To Clear The Air

2008-12-19T23:53:00.003-05:00

As I have been debating in a friends blog post about my agnostic stance, hear me out: I am an agnostic on my own means because I have always questioned religion and the belief in a higher power, but I do not deny that there might be a higher power because things to happen without a reason, even though I believe in it being coincidental or pure luck instead of God or gods. But with that said, I can not say that maybe it wasn't the work of God, but I have the right to question if it was in my own mind and defend that action if contested.

And in the world we seem to be living today, I think being agnostic is the best thing for anybody to be because we are the one's that are not certain about what is beyond this life, but we want to know. We don't think (ok, maybe I don't think) it's right for someone to tell me or tell anyone that we live this life as preparation for the after life, I like to live life right now and would rather not want to wait. The same goes towards those atheists that just flat out say there is no heaven or hell and when we die, that's it. I myself would like there to be a heaven (and a hell, but I hope that I don't end up there if there is one) because I don't want to just die and that would be it. Here's where the agnostic part comes in; as I have said, I would like there to be a heaven, but we have always pointed to the sky and said the angels play among the clouds, yet we have been to space, which requires us to fly past the "heavens" as we all like to call it. Where is heaven then? That is an agnostic view because we know people have reported out of body experiences, seeing a white light, but there are those who have been brought back to life and never reported any of that.

We are the ultimate fence-sitters in the great religious debate.

28. My Top 10 Albums Bought This Year

2008-12-18T01:39:00.003-05:00

Now remember, I am saying bought, not the best albums in 2008. It's the best albums I bought and listened to over and over, whether I bought it in a store or through iTunes.

Here it goes:

10. "Max Webster" by Max Webster- Great debut album. Tracks to listen to: "Here Among the Cats," "Toronto Tontos," "Coming Off the Moon," and "Lily"

9. "The End of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage- Powerful album, one of the great heavy albums of modern times. Tracks to listen to: "Rose of Sharyn," "Breathe Life," "Declaration," and "The End of Heartache"

8. "Days of the New" by Days of the New- One of the best acoustic bands since America. Tracks to listen to: "Touch, Peel and Stand," "Shelf in the Room," "The Down Town," "What's Left for Me?," and "Where I Stand"

7. "Rated R" by Queens of the Stone Age- Down tuned to the max! First of three, count 'em, three albums on this list. Tracks to listen to: "The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret," "Auto Pilot," "Monsters in the Parasol," and "In the Fade"

6. "Catch ThirtyThree" by Meshuggah- A muso's best friend! Full of polyrhythms and break neck riffs! Basically, the whole album is one song broken into 13 tracks. The sections one might listen to a lot are, "The Paradoxical Spiral," "In Death- Is Life," "Shed," and "Sum"

5. "Lullabies to Paralyze" by Queens of the Stone Age- The album is seen as a continuation of their previous release (you'll read it soon), but all around great stuff. Tracks to listen to are: "Medication," "Everybody Knows That You're Insane," "In My Head," "Little Sister," and "Skin On Skin"

4. "All Hope Is Gone" by Slipknot- Their best album yet! Each track represents a different style of metal and the solo's are mind-boggling. Tracks to listen to are: "Sulfur," "Psychosocial," "Dead Memories," "Gehenna," and "All Hope Is Gone"

3. "Songs for the Deaf" by Queens of the Stone Age- Awesome concept for an album, lets make the album as if you are listening to various radio stations on the way to a gig in the Mojave desert! It's how I like it, nice and heavy sounding. The is the album that precedes Lullabies to Paralyze. Tracks to listen to: "No One Knows," "First It Giveth," "Song for the Dead," "The Sky is Fallin'," "Hanging Tree," "Go With the Flow," "God is On the Radio," and "Song for the Deaf"

2. "Ain't Life Amazing" by Kim Mitchell- One of the best albums I have ever heard! Great for the start of summer. Not bad for an old rocker is it? Kim Mitchell was the lead guitarist and singer for Max Webster back in the 1970's. Tracks to listen to are: "Ain't Life Amazing," "Got a Line On You," "Love Overtime," "Space," and "In the Stars Tonight"

1. "Blackfield" by Blackfield- Fantastic album, but maybe not the best album to listen to when you are feeling down! But it is a very sonic and atmospheric piece of art rock. Tracks to listen to are: "Open Mind," "Blackfield," "Glow," "Scars," "Pain," "Summer," and "Hello"

Picking the top three was hard, and I even moved their spots alittle bit. I think out of all the songs from those ten albums, my favorite song off of any of them is "Love Overtime," by Kim Mitchell. Just a solid groove with an awesome complementing solo. It makes you feel good, and that's what I like about songs. Sort of ironic considering that I put Blackfield's self-titled album at number one because that album can get down right depressing to listen to! But it's constructed brilliantly and everysong hits the nerves that are suppose to be hit.

Maybe who ever reads this will post their own top 10! I can only hope...

27. Can Someone Help Me Find My Eustress?

2008-12-13T23:55:00.003-05:00

[song]It's the most distressful time of the year...[/song]

It's a play on that Christmas song if you haven't noticed and it represents my current state because it seems unlike everybody else, I am not done with my exams, not anywhere close! While people are coming home for the holidays and relaxing, I have only one, one, exam done and three to go. Plus I have a paper due by Wednesday for my biology class before I take the final in there. I have been slaving all day today getting notes down and what not for my US History II class so I can be well prepared to take my exam on Monday and have only slightly started on my biology paper. I guess I will study some of my bio notes tonight before bed and call it a night.

I actually think this is the first time I have crammed (that's not a good thing) for finals.

Plus, it puts me in a bad mood at certain times during the day because everybody else is celebrating being at home or knows their grades for the semester while I have to spend long hours writing, typing, or reading. The worst part is that I haven't even gone Christmas shopping yet! I would like to get some of that gone and done with but because of these stupid exams I can't afford the time to go out.

When the 17th comes around, I will be able to take my third exam at seven in the morning and my fourth and final exam at six-thirty at night. It will be a pain in the ass but worth the aggravation. I can't wait for these bloody finals to be over!

26. I Asked Timothy Leary...

2008-12-10T23:47:00.002-05:00

...and he couldn't help me either. It's a lyric from The Who's "The Seeker."

To dive into what I want to talk about and before I do, I want to make it perfectly clear that I do not take, give, or endorse the use of the stuff I am going to talk about, but just my pure opinion. I believe in order to defeat the "War on Drugs," there must be one thing done: Legalization. AHHH! Did I shock you with what I said? I know that drugs have gotten way out of hand, we have the government cracking down on what is deemed illegal, people tweaking over chemical substances (and outright looking like morons might I add), and gangs using drugs as a source of power. Legalize drugs and you take away all the money spent on the man power and other resources used to "crack" down on offenders. You will also stop the gangs having so much power depending on how much drugs they can get their hands on. It won't stop gangs, but it will hit them where it hurts. Plus, for some an adverse effect will take affect: legalization means no more thinking you could get away with doing it and therefore people will not feel like they are defeating "the man."

Yes, drugs are stupid and if I had my wish they would be gone, but some of them like pot and cocaine occur naturally in nature and should be treat as just. Alcohol and cigarettes are legal and people get hooked on those, hell, cigarettes can give you cancer while one can develop cirrhosis from drinking too much. At least marijuana should be legal if cigarettes and alcohol are legal. Marijuana would be the cigarettes version of alcohol because of the affects it has (alcohol being the adult drink compared to soda and other soft drinks). Just saying that you can tax the stuff and it might help the nation out economically.

Dealers also have to find real jobs because there will be no use for them standing on a corner. Legalization takes away jobs that shouldn't be needed in the first place (legal or illegal) and causes people who want to be stupid enough to do any drug the privilege (not a right) to do so without interference. Sure there will still be Betty Ford clinic among other rehabs and people will still be charged for over doing it like when someone behaves after having a little too much to drink.

Legalization takes away a lot of problems, that's all i'm saying. I hate drugs myself and will never take them, but we have alcohol and cigarettes around and those are just as harmful.

25. The Other Day That The Music Died

2008-12-08T10:58:00.003-05:00

It's December the eighth, we know that yesterday was the day that lived in infamy, but today is the other day that music died. I say other day because the first day that took the lives of Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper. Today was the day that two pioneers of rock music where taken away from the world: John Lennon and Pantera guitarist "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott. Both were murdered on December 8, but their murders where twenty-four years apart; John in 1980 and Dimebag in 2004. As we all know, John was murdered in front of the building his apartment was at by some crazed Christian guy would took the lyrics of "Image" with a couple cups a salt. Plus, I refuse to read Catcher of the Rye because it's Mark David Chapman's (the murderer) favorite book. With Dimebag though, its even more tragic. He was killed on stage! He was performing with his new band Damageplan out in Ohio when a crazed fan (the guy had schizophrenia) came on stage and shot Dimebag in the head during their first song. Luckily the police got there and blew a shotgun shell, killing the guy. This is a sad day for both the rock world and the metal world as well. There's no more that can really be said except to just listen to their music and reflect.

John Lennon- "Imagine"

Pantera- "Cemetary Gates"

Rest in Peace

John Lennon- October 9, 1940- December 8, 1980

"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott- August 20, 1966- December 8, 2004

24. Bummer

2008-11-29T21:15:00.002-05:00

Well, I was suppose to hang out with a friend today, we talked about it for a couple of days and when today came, she ended up having other plans. The plan for us was to hang out at my house and watch some movies, maybe some other stuff too. I wanted to start off with meeting her at this restaurant that I go to a lot beforehand. I guess you can think of it as a dating attempt.

I ended up going to the restaurant anyways, but while I was eating, I felt alone and wondered what will happen now. I don't know how much longer she has before going back to Boone and I feel like I should have talked more about it. The only positive is that winter break is around the corner if I ran out of time this break.

23. Remembrance Day

2008-11-10T23:13:00.003-05:00

November 11th, the Day of Remembrance for those for fought and died for our freedoms all over the world. To me, I use to never take to heart the day until about three years ago when I started to think about my own familiy's history. My father's side had the war veterans while my mother's side had her father and brother who were peace-time vets. Ever since I paused at 11:00am for a minute or two to pay my respects to those who served, I have always wanted a poppy to wear to honor my family.

Also, this day even means more to me because of the recent death of my grandfather
(Roy Doucet) who served on the HMCS Saguenay in the Royal Canadian Navy back in the 50's. It might have been peace time when he and his brother Ralph were in the Navy, but they still served and were ready to defend the nation while on that destroyer.

My great-uncle's brother Audley, who recently died last year (I only saw him once at Uncle Frank's 80th birthday) was a Prisoner of War in the Asian theatre during World War II while my other uncle (I can't remember his name, but when I find out I will put up his name ASAP) was shot down and killed over Chester, England defending against the Germans. I also believe my dad's father was in the services as well, but I never knew him because he died when my father was four.

I will be forever grateful for their sacrifice, courage, and honor for being in the service and serving my country.

To my relatives who served on both sides of my family, I salute you and will remember you always.

To Papa, my Hero:

The Naval Prayer

O Eternal Lord God,
who
and rulest the raging of the sea;
who has compassed the waters with bounds
until day and night come to an end;
be pleased to receive into Thy almighty and most gracious protection
the persons of us Thy servants, and the Fleet in which we serve.

Preserve us from the dangers of the sea,
and from the violence of the enemy;
that we may be a safeguard unto our most gracious Sovereign Lady,
Queen Elizabeth,
and her Dominions,
and a security for such as pass upon the seas upon their lawful occasions;
that the inhabitants of our Commonwealth may in peace and quietness
serve Thee our God;
and that we may return in safety
to enjoy the blessings of the land,
with the fruits of our labours,
and with a thankful remembrance of Thy mercies
to praise and glorify Thy Holy Name;
Amen.

Please, if you can, stop for a minute at 11:00am and think about who in your family or friends have served and sacrficed themselves for your country and for freedom. Thank you!

22. A Nice Argument

2008-11-05T23:00:00.004-05:00

Open up and say Ahhh! It feels great to be alive today, the world makes a ton more sense than at did the past eight years. I wish I could have voted for Obama, but I would need to have my green card changed to a U.S. Citizenship in order to do that. The amazing part is that I didn't realize how many of my friends are republican or voted for republicans and I can only really count a handful of friends who are Democrats like moi. The downside of this election is that I notice a lot of ignorance and stupidity from my friends because the outcome, not all them, just the ones that are saying they are going to another country and they were probably the ones calling us lefty's cowards for the same thing if Bush was re-elected!

Anyways, I had a text message conversation with my friend Lydia who didn't take lightly the OBAMA!!! message I sent her (yes, I understand, duh), but she took it too hard and kinda hurt my feelings by calling me a baby killer because that was the big reason she voted for McCain because he was against abortions. So here is the conversation (I'll start a couple texts in where the argument actually started):

Lydia- Baby Killer
Chris- Aw, he'll leave that to the states.
Lydia- Psh. See where that will get him.
Chris- We'll see what he will do in the White House. We have to remain optimistic
Lydia- Psh he already said what he was going to do. It's sad.
Chris- Are you that concern about that particular subject?
Lydia- Yup.
Chris- So you are for taking a right of your own sex away?
Lydia- Since when is murdering a right?
Lydia- You can protect yourself beforehand but after the baby's there it's a life.
Chris- Lydia, you eat eggs for breakfast, right?
Lydia- And steak for dinner, but that's not a human.
Chris- Humans are animals too, some people are too protective of our species. I know a bear wouldn't care if we were human, we're meat to them.
Lydia- Just go to YouTube and look up the kinds of abortion he supports. It's sick.
Lydia- Haha, I don't think you even mean that? Human life is an invaluable thing. We are not meat. Plus bears eat humans for food. We kill babies cause we're selfish and stupid.
Chris- We might be the animal that talks and builds massive structures, but we are the first part the most and that is animals.
Lydia- Do animals have abortion Chris?
Chris- They do result to eating their young, it's about the same. We kill baby chicks while in the egg so we can feast on the yolk that was an aborted chicken.
Lydia- We're not chickens. Or animals. We're effing humans.
Chris- We are animals, we eat, breathe, swim, mate, and kill like other animals. We wouldn't be in the animal kingdom if we weren't.
Lydia- So you and your set goldfish have the same value?
Chris- Yes, and goldfish don't have a 3 second memory, it's been proven.
Lydia- Wow... special.
Chris- In fact, we are the only animal that purposely harms our own bodies with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and obesity. Which would lower ourselves in reality.
Lydia- That's cause we're stupid.
Chris- And therefore no different from animals.
Lydia- Wrong.
Chris- Right. Haha. Can we end the argument? We have basically covered every thing.

I just notice while typing the whole conversation up that Lydia said we are not meat, but she says that bears see us as food, which means we are meat. Makes me wonder if she means that we are something like cheese or a piece of metal or wood...

We are no different from animals, we are the most complex of all the animals, but we are apart of the food chain like the rest of them.

I said this the last time when I had the other abortion blog, don't criticise me for my view, just try and understand that what I said makes sense and that you don't have to agree with it. I'm not saying I am right and you are wrong, I am saying this is what I believe and unless you can give a constructive response against it, do not comment.

21. Thank God For TV...

2008-10-27T16:31:00.004-04:00

...because you are making me realize how stupid we have become as a society!

The more I have too much time on my hands, such as today when I don't have school, the more I realize how much less entertaining today's shows are. Now, for me to say this is entirely opinion because I am talking about when I happen to stop on a channel for a minute and see what show is on rather than watch the show in it's entirety (it's too painful to!).

I have a lot of gripes when it comes to this couch potato society that I am sadly apart of because there isn't anything to do at home because everybody is either working or in school. But anyways, there are somethings I would love to get rid of and here is the list:

Those Instinct phone commercials!- I am so sick about seeing this commercial and its brain dead theme. Sell a phone, not a pretend type of movie that intimidates a CW show. I especially hate how they have the audacity to compare love with free text messenger, I mean, seriously!

Viva Viagra commercials- I think most Americans wouldn't want to shout to the hills that they can keep it up again without dysfunctions, so why rip off such a great song made famous by Elvis to sing about a damn erection pill!

The new Burger King commercial- You know, the one that imitates Simon and Garfunkel in a sense with the one guy looking alittle bit like Napolean Dynomite. It's not funny and it makes me want to go to Wendy's instead...

That stupid Rock Band reality show on VH1 Classic- if we couldn't get any lower! I remember when VH1 had a competition called House Wars and it was a game show in which three respective house bands were judge on which band could do the best covers, but now we have this lame show to pick the ultimate "rock band" and I am talking about that crappy music simulator where some people take pride in pressing the right button combination instead of actually learning how to play the real instrument!

With that said, it's gotten too much nowadays, I could keep going on with many of the reality TV shows, but they are all the same: let's get a bunch of characters that look good and will probably be volatile and lets put them at some location and film them 24/7. We get it already!

This crap is making lean towards the old child times we had when we watched cartoons in the morning, cartoons around dinner time and before bed with being outside and hanging out with friends in between that. I feel like we are just lowering ourselves too much and it's almost Zombie like. I have a good book to recommend from the 50's that almost hits it spot on about today! It's called Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, check it out at a library and see for yourself!

We are relying too much on substitute materials when we should actually be able to do the actually activity instead! I just need to get that metal band together and I will be fine, I already play ice hockey so I get my exercise there, plus I am wanted to do other things that get me away from the idiot box and it's offshoot: the computer.

And to Sarah Palin: We are becoming more obese every day so stop calling fellow Americans Joe Six Pack you stupid twit! They are too busy watching TV to work out!

20. Why I Am Agnostic

2008-10-23T00:35:00.003-04:00

Ever since the day that I found the word "Agnostic" in the dictionary, I knew that was what I am when it comes to religion and the belief in God. I want to make clear what goes on in my head and what cause me to tick when every body else just doesn't see it.

Why do the good die young?
It is a common question that I wonder about. Billy Joel sings a song called "Only the Good Die Young," but why, if God is suppose to love everybody, decides that the good ones die young? I remember back in senior year of high school (2007), out student body president, Ozzie Vargas, died when his buckle malfunctioned when he was going across a river on a zip line and he came crashing down into some rocks below. The ironic part of that story was where it happened: A religious camping retreat.

You know, if God truly exists, surly he would have killed off every scientist who stands up for evolution over Creationism, surly he would have killed those Nazi's who went into hiding for their hideous crimes against humanity, but no, He kills Ozzie Vargas, a committed Christian and student body president who spent a lot of time doing charitable things. Here is the WRAL article.

Now there are some people that, if there is a God, he got to them before they became old. Most notably being John Lennon. It isn't that shocking because Lennon had songs against religion and if you are into the history of music, you will remember that gaffe of a statement while in The Beatles that he said "we're bigger than Jesus now," and the lines "imagine there is no Heaven/ no Hell below us," and ultimately in another song of his he defiantly says "I don't believe in Jesus." I can understand if this was God's work because of those statements, but this was a man of peace who was killed by Mark David Chapman, a religious fanatic who took those two lines in "Imagine" so seriously that he ended up murdering John Lennon.

Do things happen by coincidence or is there a reason?
This is the part that gets me thinking the hardest on whether or not there is some extraterrestrial-type spirit because of some events that have happened to my family recently. One being the death of my grandfather who I truly loved to death and was devastated when he passed away. When my mom went to bed that night after the funeral, she asked for a sign, she asked to be shown some deer in the morning in the yard to show that her father was safe and so she could feel secure knowing that he had a safe passage to the next life. Well, she did in fact see a deer the very next morning. My dad told me that she did that and what she told him when we went shopping the day of that morning. In all honestly, I feel happy about that sign and it does bring a different perspective when all you usually do is disbelieve anybody else say they received signs like that.

My grandfather was a man who was quietly religious. What I mean by quietly was that he never pressed any verses onto us and I knew that he read his pocket bible every night before bed. When he was in his last years and couldn't really do much except lay on the couch, my dad and I noticed he was reading some pamphlets called Our Daily Bread which was about how to prepare for the after, how you are to ready yourself for your journey from Earth to Heaven. I have a feeling I might be doing something similar to that in my later years...

Now I do think a lot of things happen out of pure coincidence and not because of reason.

Here is a video that makes me think of how I truly feel about religion:
(If you are religious and do not want to hear the song, the words are on the screen, so you can just mute it and read the words)

XTC- "Dear God"

If you are reading this, do something for me, don't pray for me, let me be the one that finds my answers, I don't need the extra help and maybe I have found my answers but I will not know until I grow older and wiser.

19. It's Time To Change For The Better

2008-10-19T10:04:00.002-04:00

Yes, you read that right, it's time to change and become a more positive person (while still having my calm and collected nothing to worry about when it comes to deadlines demeanor). I just having been liking I am with myself in recent days and I know that I can't be how I have been in the past year. The more I sat in that bonus room at night all alone the more I thought that I should be doing more outside with friends or do more things with my family instead of being some type of recluse. I am done with being bound by my own shackles. It's time to hang out with my friends more often, to not be in the bonus room too much, unless i'm with friends, and MOST importantly, time to find someone to call my girlfriend!

Yesterday, for example, I hung out with my friend Heather and her father and we went to the mall to help her look for boots for Halloween. Okay, so it wasn't that fun, but it was not as if we were going to the mall with her mother or else I would have hung myself! Anyways, we went out to Garner and went through this corn maze and it was actually fun! I didn't want to do it originally, but I was satisfied. Wonder where some other mazes are, this one was at Ken's Nursery. Finally, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. During that time, Heather and I played this trivia game while eating against other people in the restaurant and we won one of the games by a good margin! The funny part is that Harry got boneless chicken wings with hot sauce on them and he was feeling it pretty badly!

And today I am going golfing with my dad and Harry over at Lakeshore and my other friends, Rick and Joe, are coming over to hang out at my house tomorrow. So overall, I think things are looking up for me!

18. For Fun So You Can Stop Reading Depressing Posts

2008-10-16T00:22:00.000-04:00

Almost sleepy time for me, so I feel like showing you guys some music I have been listening to lately (no Jessica, I am not copying you, was thinking about doing this for a long time, haha).

Here it goes:

John Lennon- "I'm Losing You" featuring Rick Nielsen and Bun E. Carlos of Cheap Trick and Tony Levin of King Crimson on bass.

Jeff Healey- "See the Light"

Cheap Trick- "Ain't That a Shame"

Death From Above 1979- "Losing Friends"

Enjoy! :D

17. Limbo

2008-10-12T20:50:00.000-04:00

Well I do not really know on where to start with this post. I haven't posted in awhile because I was busy with school and work and only had time to sporadically post. But now, I only have school to worry about because I have been laid off from work (three weeks ago I was told I was being let go, but they gave me to October 10th.) and if I was still working, I would be working on my Rock Music History right now so I can do the quiz and midterm before tomorrow because work would take up much of the day, but as you see, I do not have work anymore. Work was a love-hate relationship honestly. I mean, I loved working there. The people where great and it was a unique job for me to do that was out of the norm for people our age, plus it paid well. The hate part came from doing certain tasks at work like the doggie stations; nobody likes to drive around with trash bags full of dog crap around. The good thing is that everybody at worked liked me and they want me to come to the next apartment social this Tuesday and they even let me keep my gate key for once I am able to drive that I can go to the fitness center and work out. Atleast I get one more check and it should be a good one!

I know there are plenty of positives to being out of a job. The main one is that I can focus fully on school and I really need to considering my GPA at the end of last year was not great at all. I remember my senior year of high school that in the semester that I had my temporary job for the Halloween time that I had straight A's and the next semester it was A's and B's, the best best academic year I ever had! Then I got a job, tried working four out of the five days and going to class full time and I had a pretty crappy year. Another positive is that I can sleep in more and stay up later and have more time with my friends. I believe that with no more money flow from the job, that I will not do midnight bolwing as much as I use to.

Finally, I think I am starting to not like being home alone for weekends. The reason being that I can't really do much here and I am not the one to take advantage of my parents by having a massive party. I did have a friend over who I haven't hung out with in a long time and I did go have dinner at the Tangerine Cafe so I could get out of the house, but other than that, I haven't done much. If I only could drive, then I would be golden!

Speaking of cars, congratulations to my mom as she just won a 2008 Mustang! She won a prize to go to Lowe's Motor Speedway with one other person (my father of course) and watch the Nationwide Series race, the Sprint Cup race, some other things fans couldn't do, a lap around the track with Carl Edwards, and at the end of everything was a chance to win a Mustang. In order for her to win it, she had to have the right key in order to start up the car, and she was the one with the key!

Ok, so I thought I didn't have much to write about and I guess I did. Let's see how long it takes to make a another post.

16. Normalcy

2008-09-04T22:07:00.000-04:00

Might be because I am listening to "Still In Love With You" by Thin Lizzy, or the recent text message, but I don't really have a clue on what is going on anymore. I go to work, I go to class, I hang out with friends, but I think i'm in a crossroads where I don't have a true direction to go. Not a direction by the academic or work sense, but just in life. I've been single for over a year and there are times where I am fine with it, other times I loathe it, and then there's the listening to the depressing songs of Blackfield and Ghost Trio that trigger a breakdown. I haven't had one of those in awhile, thank God.

One thing might be that I miss talking to some old friends that somehow dissappeared from the radar and I wish they would pop up again. One in particular being Sophie, my French friend who basically changed my life for the short time she was here visiting North Carolina. I haven't talked to her in a couple of months and I wonder what she is up to now and then, I miss having long conversations with her and helping her through times where she felt like she was stupid and not going to be going anywhere.

Another would be Jaclyn. We use to talk, I know she gets the Hey's from me. She even responded to a text message asking who it was and I guess when she found out it was me, she did not want to bother with me, but why would she invite me to her birthday party if she gives me these negative feelings? We use to be fine then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me and I bet she doesn't give one damn. Oh well, I wish things were the other way.

Life is life, I guess. I just wish they would just all of a sudden appear and talk to me, but I know it's not going to happen.

Anyways, it's ok, not like watching the New England Revolution debacle against Joe Public of Trinidad and Tobago. Four-nil? How? Was performance by the Rev's I have ever seen!

Sorry, had to get that out. :D

15. Weekly Top Artists (1st Edition)

2008-08-26T17:42:00.000-04:00

Well, the chart didn't exactly work, so I'll just post my top five from my last.fm page:

1- Yes
2- Metalica
3- Porcupine Tree
4- Rush
5- Deep Purple

Might post a new blog post later on tonight depending on how busy I am.

14. Room Update

2008-08-19T22:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, I have been working on my room, but it is still not fully complete. Below is what exactly has been done:

1) Dresser was moved to the closet. In order to make the dresser fit correctly in my closet I had to move 3 boxes from the right side of the closet into the storage spaces we have in our bonus room. The dresser fits percfect in there! If I need to pull the drawers completely out, I have to turn it at an angle, otherwise it works great! The drawers pull out enough that I can retrieve everything without a problem.

2) Clothes that I currently wear are now in the other dresser that holds the tv while the video games that were in those two drawers are now in this nifty small black 3-drawer night stand (I guess) that holds the games without a problem, plus some extra stuff that I had on my computer desk.

3) With some screws, the computer desk was strengthened. The desk still wobbles, but atleast everything is now in tact. All I need to do is put my speakers and my printer back on the desk and I will be golden!

4) The floor was vacuumed and I mean it was vacuumed! The futon and the bed are both spotless underneath! Plus, I am in the process of cleaning up the stains on the floor.

5) I have a dry-erase calendar above my desk so I can be incharge of what I need to get done and hopefully it will be a savior for me this year!

6) The Canada flag is pinned up on the wall above my bed!

I still have some things to get done, such as:

1) Reorganizing my shelf that contains my CD's, DVD's, and books. Easy fix, just haven't gotten around to doing it.

2) Cleaning the TV dresser. Dusting it and ridding it of what is on top of it -besides the stereo- will do the job!

3) Dust the TV

4) Clean the futon matress

5) Removing the dresser doors (optional). I still have not decided on whether to do that or not.

Maybe once it is fully done, I will take a couple of pictures and post them on here!

By the way, next monday I will post my top artists of the week according to Last.fm!

13. New (Room) Beginnings

2008-08-12T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, this will be a short one before my next blog which will be about an entirely different subject! Anywho! I have decided to rearrange my room slightly. I want to make the room feel more spacious with what little space I have (I was able to successfully do that out in Arizona with a room smaller than the one I have! I had such a better vibe from redoing that room!) and besides... it just need to be cleaned out alittle bit.

This is what I plan on doing:

1) Cleaning my closet and putting everything into boxes since I barely use anything in there and the fact that most of what is in there is clothes and old toys. Putting everything into bigger boxes will help reduce space instead of having everything in small boxes or in new at all.

2) Moving my dresser into the closet. It will still be used for clothes, but just not the clothes I wear all the time that will be used for the other dresser I have. The other dresser has a big open space where I have my TV and I use it's two drawers for video games.

3) New plastic drawers for those video games. Brought it from the apartments I work at; has three spots that can hold all of my games and it is small, which will hopefully make the room feel more spacious.

4) Clean underneath the bed and the futon, of course! There will definitely be a garbage bag or two with unwanted junk.

5) Rescrew the computer desk. The desk came from the apartments as well, it's slightly wobbly because everything is not exactly screwed in. Once that happens, I believe the desk will be used more... well once the printer gets some proper ink, it will.

6) The Canada flag will be tacked back onto the wall, some people remember it being there and wonder why it's not there. I believe I took it down when I painted the room blue, but I just haven't put it back up.

What do you guys think?

12. Just Some Gripes

2008-07-28T21:21:00.000-04:00

Going to be a short one possibly, so here it goes:

1) Today's music: Very very bland, from my most hated subgenre of pop rock to my more likened metal (and its subgenres) seem to be all the very same now-a-days, every band looks and sounds the same. You can go to wikipedia, type in a subgenre, click on a couple of the bands, and you get what I mean. Plus if you go and listen to them, there isn't that much of a difference apart from a slightly different sounding vocalist. From Pop to Rock to Rap to Country to Metal, it's all repetition and its very tiring. Makes you wish the 70's were back.

2) Work: We have a new leasing agent and the more I hear her talk, the less I like her. She seems to be full of herself and sounds like one of those mall chicks you just want to slug. Today, when we were all having Chili's at work because it's the last week for our one leasing agent (hence the new girl) and she was talking about freaking out when she found out she weighs 100 pounds, which she thinks is outrageous being that she's 5 foot (which I think she's slightly taller than that). Not many think she will do well at work, so who knows...

3) I've been sick: The worst part is that I have been coughing for almost 3 weeks now! I went to urgent care and the wait was 3 hours because they only have one doctor! I set up an appointment for tomorrow at three o'clock, so I hope I can get something to get rid of this damn cold!

Hopefully I get to hang out with my one friend tomorrow, haven't hung out with her in such a long time!

11. Undecidedness to the Umpfteenth Degree

2008-07-09T22:06:00.001-04:00

Ok, time to talk from the heart. So recently this girl that I have been hanging out every once in awhile for the past month has told me that she likes me. Everybody I know tells me that I should go out with her, but I am still on the fence! The last two times we went midnight bowling we would flirt and stuff but it never went further than that. I do kinda like her, but if we were to go out, we would only be able to do things for a month and a half before she ships back off to university.

We like a lot of the same things and we talk a lot online but like I have said, I am undecided. I know the first time she came midnight bowling she left her phone and her mom's credit card in my friends back seat, so I took it and she came online and told me she might have left them there and I told her that I have them and she can come over at that time to get them. So she does, in her pajamas, and I give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As I went back to the bonus room and had a mini freak-out on the basis that I did that. When she got home she admittied that she liked me more than as a friend. Anyways, the next week at midnight bowling we continued to flirt around and whatnot and when we dropped her off, I gave her a hug and I believe she kissed me on the neck and we said goodnight.

I just don't know what path to follow... suggestions?

10. Part 2

2008-06-24T19:39:00.000-04:00

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, Saturday.

Because my sister and I were going to spend Father's Day with my mom's father, we decided, with our cousins to spend the day before with our dads and take them out for dinner. So we took them to a place called Betty's, which has good fish and chips, but it is full of old people (think of K & S Cafeteria if you have ever been there, its full of God's prospects). My dad said the one time when he was eating there that someone had a heart attack. Anyways, after that, we went our separate ways and headed home to hang out with the relatives again. By the way, I paid for my sister, my dad, and I.

On Sunday, my dad and I went to Niagara-on-the-Lake and saw some really nice houses, which most of this stuff I have never seen. We past by Fort George, a British fort during the War of 1812. The area right by the fort has the old Union Jacks (just the combination of the Scottish and English flags) along with the Canadian flags in the main drag of the town. While in the area we stopped by the edge of Lake Ontario, where, on a good day, you can look across and see Toronto! The area we were at had huge blocks of stone, I guess to break down any storm surges if that was to happen. We kept along and stopped at another spot were there was sand and where Fort Niagara was clearly visible. Fort Niagara was the American fort during the War of 1812 and no wonder Fort George was bombarded by the Americans, they are so close to each other! On a side note, there was the group of really nice looking women who all had the same blue tank-tops on, they said CZECH, so i'm guessing they came from the Czech Republic. Anyways, enough of the sight-seeing and back to the relatives for a Father's Day party for my grandfather. We had some huge steaks we got from a local butcher (Stormy's) and some hot dogs. After the dinner, I put on some Max Webster songs from my laptop sense mostly everybody was a fan of them. After about an hour, the party was over and we went to help my aunt and uncle with their horses because a storm was coming. This was the last day of the trip and we had to be up by 4:30am so we can get a headstart on the drive back down. On Monday we went to the Duty Free where I bought some gfts for some friends down south and off we went.

9. My Trip To Niagara Falls (Part 1)

2008-06-17T17:57:00.000-04:00

Well I went up to Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada to see my relatives and to see some places around the area. So lets start it off shall we...

When we entered my grandparents house we greeted my grandmother and my mom woke up her dad and he was suprised to see us because he didn't know we were coming up to celebrate father's day with him. Later on we went over to my uncle's house and saw my cousin Matt and my sister and I hung out with him while my uncle took my parents to see where he works (Great Wolf Lodge). My other cousin James came home from coaching a baseball game (he's the same age as me) and had to suit up for his own baseball game. My sister and I went with him to watch his baseball game and went home afterwards to hang out with the grandparents and then to sleep.

The next day we went in the morning and got some Tim Horton's Doughnuts (the best in the world!) and my sister and I went to hang out with our cousins for part of the day. Jessica and Matt went to get breakfast and James and I went to the Great Wolf Lodge to use the waterpark with my uncles free passes. The slides in that place are sweet and it was nice to go swimming finally! After swimming we went to Harvey's to get a a quick bite to eat while talking to one of the employees who was talking weird and we think that she was either joking around for the day, possibly liked us, or just not completely right in the head. Anyways, we got back to the his house where my sister and I got picked up by my dad and we went to St. Catherines to have dinner at my aunt Colleen's house. The dinner was all automatic food (made already for you to eat by the grocery store), but it was good nonetheless. When the dinner was over my sister left with my mom and our grandparents and I went with my dad as we drove a different way back to the house whilst stopping by Canadian Tire to look around.

Part 2 will be posted either tonight or tomorrow!

8. Owner Of An Lonely Heart

2008-06-01T21:59:00.000-04:00

Yes. But no, i'm not talking about the song.

I feel slightly alone despite being the most socially active I have been in awhile, but it might be because of what I was doing, so lets break this down:

Friday:

Hung out with Heather (my ex) at Taco Bell till 5:30 when her dad came by, had something to eat and then we went to Buffaloe Lanes so the three of us could bowl. After that, we went back to the apartments so her dad could fix a sprinkler head and then we went to Cold Stone Creamery to have some ice cream.
A couple of hours later, I went midnight bowling with my friend Matt. We do this every week, and its good fun when you're with friends, but after awhile you start to realize that if we had girlfriends, we wouldn't really need to go do this every week.

Saturday

Worked for four hours to make up my time, but it became a hassle because I had to fix a garage door and I failed on my first attempt to work on an A/C by myself. Heather and I hung out again, this time we went to Wendy's and had dinner with her dad. After that we went to her grandmothers house and played some dominoes (which I haven't done since we went out) and I lost badly, as I usually did.
While with Heather I found out from Matt that he and a friend of ours wanted to go midnight bowling, so when I got home around 10 PM, I sat and relaxed for about half an hour before being picked up by Matt and off we went. I bowled three times in two days! Just a little too much me thinks...

Sunday

Hit the compactor in the morning, was a little backed up because nobody hit it Saturday afternoon. After that I went with my family to Sam's Club where I bought a new pair of shorts that I can hopefully use at work. Went home and watched TV until I had to go back and hit the compactor again. While there with my mom, I noticed Heather's dad at the pool and Heather was there with him, so I called her to get her attention and she came over and talked to my mom and I while I was putting trash in the compactor. Her dad came over a coupel of minutes later and talked with us and then it was off to the grocery store to buy some food and drinks for the week.

To sum things up, I am in that "hate to be single" phase right now, especially since I hung out and saw my ex for three straight days! Makes me wonder how her boyfriend is taking it... It's like when you see yourself from the future comes up and shows you what your life will be like from this point on if you did this certain decision except its the complete reverse. I go from being with someone I spent about eight of the happiest months of my life to midnight bowling with friends where it reminds you of the fact that you don't have a special someone anymore and whether or not you will find somebody else. As long as I believe that there is a bright future ahead of me then I think I will be fine.

7. 96 Rock's Memorial 500 Countdown

2008-05-26T18:59:00.000-04:00

Well 96 Rock is about to finish up their top 500 songs for Memorial Day and I have listened to a lot of it, but here is a run down on a couple of spots and then my review of the Top 5.

#500: "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister, actually, in a sense, it makes sense! Its the perfect opening song because don't you wanna rock when the countdown kicks off? In all honesty though, could have been slightly higher.

Live had their big hit around spot number 50, I agree with the DJ that was on when it played, it shouldn't be in the top 500!

Ok, so here is the Top 5:

#5. "One" by Metallica- Very surprised that it is that high up, but nonetheless, a great song indeed and deserves to be there (I'm a metal fan, so yeah, haha).

#4. "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd- It's a good song, no doubt about, but being back in North Carolina makes me realize that I never really missed the song. Would be awesome to try to play it in a band, though!

#3. "Baba O'Reilly" by The Who- A shocker, but a good song all together. I would think that "Won't Get Fooled Again" would be at this position because I think its a way more powerful song that this one. But I love the song, so its all good :).

#2. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana- Well Generation X is getting older and I can see how this is almost becoming the "old guard" of rock for those born in the nineties and now. But I don't see it in my top 5, but top 10. I have the album by the way and I love the ferocious attitude played by Kurt, Dave, and Krist.

#1. "Stairway To Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. A very powerful song that tops almost everybody lists (I like The Rain Song better honestly). I've listened to the song way to much in the past couple of years, but its a good song now again now that I haven't heard it in awhile. Maybe it stems from the people of my generation that walk around in the Led Zeppelin 1977 tour shirts and they broke up from Bonham's death way before any of us were born. My dad was suppose to see them in '77, but Robert Plant's kid died while they were on tour and they canceled the rest of it. I can't remember who said it, but they said the reason so many people love it is because its a "climber" song, that it constantly climbs in tempo and attitude. Very true!

The list will be posted soon at http://www.96rockonline.com

6. Small Random News

2008-05-18T21:25:00.000-04:00

Ok, just slightly bummed out that Canada blew a 4-2 lead and lost in overtime to Russia at the IIHF World Championships, but the host country has not won since the Soviet Union when they won in Moscow in 1986, so oh well.

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Despite that Carlos Mencia does the same type of comedy all the time, his special tonight was absolutely hillarious! I agree with one thing: Vegetarians are hypocrites, they do eat living organisms, except I eat ones that prevent its waste products from harming the atmosphere and you eat the ones that their waste product is oxygen!

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Lets take a look at the news:

ABCNews- US Soldier Removed from Iraq for Shooting at Quran- Wow, talk about not respecting another one's culture. This guy and a small population like him give the Armed Forces a black eye. I remember a classmate in my US History class told us that one of her "friends" was in his tank and got impatient and rolled over a whole family in their car, oh...my...god. It's a sad sad world we live in.

BBC- China declares national mourning- Makes me sick, honestly. For you that think I have no heart, hear this: Tibet. Yes its very sad that the earthquake has killed so many, but the government is only doing this to try and brighten their image when they honestly don't care about their people, just look at how many Tibetans they have killed.

CBC- PM to official apologize for native school abuse next month- Well they should since this went on for about 100 years until 1970, I believe Canada is from one of the indigenous languages, so Stephen Harper better make it a good one!

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And here is a question for you guys!:
What do you consider moral?
This question does not pertain to the news articles, its what do you think is moral in your eyes?

5. I See It This Way:

2008-05-17T02:22:00.000-04:00

For the record i'm pro-choice with circumstances (rape, mothers life and the fact that its a woman's choice).

Please don't get out-right offended, but I hope people get the point, if not comment, but do not be rude!

4. Peaceful Easy Feeling

2008-05-14T21:42:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post, listening to The Very Best of the Eagles is helping with the relaxing mood tonight. I got into listening tonight after watching their concert film When Hell Freezes Over and whenever I listen to their stuff, it makes me feel like getting back to simple times and being rustic.

Since I lived in Arizona for four years, I can definitely put some desert scenery to my mind when I hear some of their songs and the sparseness of the desert reminds me of the pioneer times, when easy riding was done on a horse and any person could go on their own path. Coincidentally, while listening to "Ol' '55" with it's wandering steel guitar and the imagery sung by Don Henley, I kinda wish I was back there, mainly for the six hour drive up to Las Vegas when the main highway was a two lanes and all that was around was the desert, the red rocks, the cacti, the mountains, the elevation, and the lack of buildings along the way.

It might be more introvertedness that kicks in because when I visualize those images in my head, its more of wanting to be secluded in those mountains and not having to worry about neighbors so I can do whatever I want. But it would be no fun being in that seclusion without a significant other!

3. Vacation Time

2008-05-14T21:24:00.000-04:00

Yesterday at work, I kept thinking about how much of a fast-pace nation we live in (yes I said nation, not world). We work for months on end and (in my line of work) are guaranteed two weeks of vacation time, but we should have more. I believe in Germany they are required to have three months, yes, months of vacation! We pride ourselves in being efficient but in reality we are just working ourselves to death, its all about getting the money's worth out of people and it gets frustrating.

At the moment I am taking two straight days off from work and so far today its been good and I hope I get to go to Canada in June so that I can have almost a week off. It was good to relax, but I know that Friday i'll be back and trying to make sure the job ship doesn't sink. I'm so relaxed at the moment that I do not really care that I messed up at work. Apparently I forgot to vacuum out the caulking I took off from one of the bath tubs in an apartment and they walked the future residents into it, oh well. I mean, the guy already looked at his apartment before we turned it and I know why I didn't vacuum the caulking because I simply forgot because I was busy wanting to caulk and goof-off (its a solvent that gets rid of paint off of reciprocal plates) two other apartments and I was planning on going back to vacuum, but of course I forgot because the last apartment I was working on I had to fix some stuff in it before leaving. They also said a shower head was missing, which I told my supervisor on the phone that I did not take off a shower head (and I know I didn't do that! It didn't need to be replaced!)

My supervisor always tries to let whoever screw up feel a little bit better because he let's me know i'm not the only one that does it (and I know that because our lead tech forgets things all the time!). So in the end, Friday morning I need to vacuum the caulk before they move in and if my property manager and the lead tech are the only ones that say anything, then i'll be good, other wise i'll be pissed and lack concentration for the rest of the day.

2. Music Is The Teachings...

2008-05-12T20:21:00.000-04:00

As I sit here with my iPod plugged into my Playstation 3 so I can listen to the songs I have on the iPod through the stereo, I sit here and think of what some songs truly mean to me in real life. Of course some songs have absolutely no meaning ("Toronto Tontos" by Max Webster being a prime example!) while some I can truly identify with and there are some that I just can not completely understand and make me know that if I wrote something like that, I would feel embarassed to have my parents listen to it (mainly today's rap and the hair metal bands of the 80's).

But anyways, in recent times, there is one song I can identify with when it comes to my views on religion, the song "Faithless" by Rush (written by Neil Peart) completely describes my way of thinking. Here are the lyrics:

I've got my own moral compass to steer by

A guiding star beats a spirit in the sky

And all the preaching voices -

Empty vessels ring so loud

As they move among the crowd

Fools and thieves are well disguised

In the temple and market place

Like a stone in the river

Against the floods of spring

I will quietly resist

Like the willows in the wind

Or the cliffs along the ocean

I will quietly resist

I don't have faith in faith

I don't believe in belief

You can call me faithless

I still cling to hope

And I believe in love

And that's faith enough for me

I've got my own spirit level for balance

To tell if my choice is leaning up or down

And all the shouting voices

Try to throw me off my course

Some by sermon, some by force

Fools and thieves are dangerous

In the temple and market place

Like a forest bows to winter

Beneath the deep white silence

I will quietly resist

Like a flower in the desert

That only blooms at night

I will quietly resist

As you see, I consider myself agnostic, I do not entirely knock the notion of a God or no God, but I want to go on the path I want without feeling like there is a force working with or against me. Along with that, I do not think down on people who use their faith as a sense of motivation and guidance, if thats how they can live their life, than kudos to them! My lack of faith does not play into moral by any sense because I can proudly say that I have some strong morals, in fact, some that are stronger than some people who go to church and say they follow the word of God (remember, I said some people, I know my friend across the street has better at morals than I am, and I keep a tight shift!). To end this post, I can say I believe in love and that's faith enough for me.

1. When Nothing Is Going On

2008-05-12T20:14:00.000-04:00

Well, I have decided to make my own blog (well after being asked a couple times by Jessica to do so) and I feel like I can be able to talk about the most random things when I have the feeling to post!

Now, I must digress that some of my stuff isn't going to be the simple "I walked down to the store and had a nice chat with the cashier...," it's going to get slightly more deeper than that, in a philosophical-politcal kind of sense, so if anybody feels offended by something I said, its just an opinion and it shouldn't make you think of me anyless than what you already know of me.

So lets go on with the show!