48. Hoity Toity Rants and Self Selfishness

When it comes to emotions, how many of us put how we feel in front of others? To tell others how we feel but to think what others feel, even if its the same, is complete pish-posh and that they need to get over it. Maybe it's just the mood i'm in or that I read someone else's blog about being alone and all I could think of is the phrase "I have no sympathy."

I know I have said on here about feeling alone and what not, which is why I am talking about being selfish. But at the same time you start to draw comparisons. I know the person I am talking about and I know their pretty extroverted and they have plenty of people to hang out with and even claims they always have someone interested in them. I on the other hand have been without someone for the past 2 years, about as introverted as they come, and have had about three or four people like me during this time. So the selfish part of me thinks "you have no idea what it's like to be me..."

But in reality, as the character Atticus Finch said: "You can not judge a person until you see things from his (or her to be correct) point of view"

Which is completely true, yeah we know each other, but are we really friends? No, just mere acquaintances. I don't hang out with her at all and I only seldom talk to her on the internet. But when it seems like they are always having a good time partying and living "the college life" sure being alone will affect that person, but on my side, being alone has affected me too, but when you haven't really done anything in about two years despite trying to (and failing, even when coming close) you tend to feel less and less for someone claiming to have no one.

In a resilient conclusion, on my end, I need better myself when it comes to compassion, but it's sometimes hard to do so in these shoes...if you know what I mean.

47. Four Hour Breaks

Just another one of those days where I need to kill time at college because I decided to give my self way too much time in between classes; three hours between class on Mondays and Wednesdays and four hours on Fridays. In a sense it can be agood thing because then I can work on homework and whatnot during that time, plus study my ass off before psychology...

Have I been doing that? only slightly...

The problem is, most of my classes so far haven't really offered any homework and if they do it's incredibly easy. I just usually sit in the student lounge with my laptop listening to music and checking the internet out. This time i'm actually deciding to write a blog since I haven't done so in awhile.

I do utilize my time to study though. I will take myself to the library and stick myself in the back quiet study areas to do my last minute cramming which has so far worked. This week so far has been really stressful and tough only because I had two tests and a project all due on two straight days. Plus there was other stuff in the class I project due in that went on that I don't want to delve into...
But now the school week is coming to a close and I can just sit back and feel relaxed knowing that I don't need to do anything but breathe easily and enjoy my music for the next 3 hours.

I think it's time to get back to reading my book when I get home today... might be therapeutic.