32. The Thrill Is Gone

Well, I guess it was not meant to be. I believe I am at the point where I can talk to her, and I have tried at least twice. But the question is, should I try harder or let things go? I don't know what I feel about her any more, whether I like her or not like her because of what was said, it's almost a numb feeling. It's just that I don't want to have her talk to me about it when she is back in the cozy comforts of Appalachian State because then it will be too late and I am not willing to wait for her to come back only for her to back off once again.

But does this mean the friendship is over as well? It's been exactly two weeks since we last talked to each other. I just wish she should come out and tell me what this "horrible timing" thing is about because I would have completely understood if she told me that she was starting to like this other guy and that's why she was acting like she did. That would have been clear cut and I would have been fine with that and we could have gone on with our merry lives instead of just being told that she needs to stop talking to me because it makes her like me again and say "it just is." I just want to know the whole story and I have soothed to the point where I don't get mad and pissed off at the thoughts (its that numb feeling).

I guess in the time being, there are other fish in this massive ocean called singledom.